Rondayview

The cost of absurdity: $192

Last night I was pulled over in Ritina's van by a Brookfield Police Officer one mile from my house. I'd been doing 30mph in a 35mph. What? Was I going too slow? Turns out the registration on the van was expired. Now, like any rational-minded-law-abiding citizen, I assumed that this would probably earn me a warning and some sort of ultimatum to renew the registration within some reasonable time period or else.

Nooooooooooooo . . .

Instead, it earned me a $93 ticket and an $89 tow bill! What!?

That's right. Last night I looked up the ordinance cited on my ticket. Driving or allowing to be driven an unregistered vehicle subjects the driver or owner to an immediate fine, and the vehicle may not be driven no matter what. I was one mile from my house. Could I just drive it that mile home? Noooooo. Ritina's office was right across the street from where I was pulled over. Could I just drive it into the parking lot and leave it there? Noooooooo. I was not allowed to move the vehicle unless it was towed. Why? I asked. Because it's unsafe and the State of Connecticut cannot assume the liability. What! The vehicle isn't even a year old? Because it has a purple sticker instead of a green one, it's unsafe? The entire situation seemed so far beyond absurd that I was just speechless. I was livid and not thinking straight, but of course behaved myself.

It gets better.

The officer asked me if I knew anyone who could tow my vehicle. I felt like telling him that if he'd just go find a drunk person to arrest rather than harrassing a fellow citizen who serves this community more than most, I'd get it taken care of. I didn't say that, of course, and no, my list of friends does not include anyone with a tow truck. He offered to call one for me, and in my state of mind I let him. So this tow truck driver arrives and hops out of his truck all chipper and wants to know how I'm doing. The daggers flying from my eyes were sufficient to shut him up. It wasn't his fault, I know, and I wasn't mad at him, but it's really tought to think straight when you're truly, honestly angry. Anyway, he tells me that my bill will be $77 plus $4 per mile, and he wants to be paid in CASH. I don't have $83 in cash on me, so he offers to drive me to an ATM. Gee, thanks. I accept, not realizing until later that I'm paying this guy $4 per mile to drive me to my bank! Had I been thinking, I would have had him just drive me home and then would have driven another vehicle to an ATM while he unloaded the van. The extra mileage to the ATM and back brought my towing bill to $89.

So this is government by the people for the people, huh?

If this isn't an example of beauracracy taken to an absurd extreme, I don't know what is.

By the time the towing guy finally had my van unloaded I was actually in decent spirits. Though I was still miffed, the absurdity of the whole thing was just too much to ignore the humor of it all. So, having calmed down, I asked the guy how many of these types of tows he does a week. "Oh, four or five." At least I'm in good company, then.

[Updates]

Hey, the same thing happened to Diana Ross last year in Greenwich. Somehow she managed to get off with a $78 fine, though, and the post mentions nothing about having to have the car towed. So I guess it would have helped if I were a celebrity?

Cool! Here's a guy who faced the same problem and came up with a creative solution! Just checked the Connecticut DMV web site, though. Wouldn't have worked here as Connecticut doesn't appear to offer online renewal.

Posted by Ron Pacheco at March 26, 2004 08:38 AM